AI companion privacy: what happens to personal conversations?

People often share intimate or emotionally sensitive details with AI companions. A service saying it is “private” is not enough: the practical questions concern what information it collects, which providers process messages, how accounts and backups are handled, and whether you can delete or export data. This is a desk-research guide, not an independent security audit.

What our documents prove—and what they do not

A provider saying its app “remembers you” does not establish its data deletion or export policy. Do not infer that removing a chat also removes backups, telemetry or billing records. Open each provider’s own privacy notice and terms to check: controller identity, retention periods, training use, export choices, cancellation channel, and deletion process. When a detail is absent, say “not verified”, not “private by default”.

Provider-specific controls to inspect first

Kindroid: its subscription documentation describes read-only access, including ability to view, export and delete after paid/free access ends. Nectar: memory entries can be reviewed and changed in Chat Settings → Memory; memory deletion is not necessarily account erasure. Swipey: its Hearts FAQ states account deletion removes remaining credit balance. For all providers, distinguish deletion of companion content from closing a billing subscription.

What can be established from public provider material?

Separate three different deletion tasks

1. Cancel billing: prevents future renewal but does not necessarily delete chats.
2. Delete a conversation or memory: may remove content from the visible app but can have separate backup or retention rules.
3. Delete the account: a separate request that may require authentication and may not remove all legally retained records immediately.

Private versus shared characters

Some platforms support public, shared or privately kept character definitions. Secrets’ documentation explicitly says that once another user begins interacting with a shared custom character, turning sharing off may not be possible. This makes publication settings important even if your original character is fictional. Avoid putting a real person’s address, workplace, likeness or identifying details into a shared prompt.

What we cannot responsibly claim

• We have not audited server logs, backups, infrastructure or encryption implementations.
• A policy’s use of “secure” or “private” does not demonstrate end-to-end encryption.
• We cannot guarantee that deleting a visible message immediately removes every server-side copy.
• We do not know which data-handling changes individual vendors will make after today.

A safer signup workflow

1. Use a unique password and separate email alias where appropriate.
2. Begin with fictional names and events to evaluate the service.
3. Read the privacy policy and the terms shown at signup, including optional training or data-sharing controls.
4. Find export, memory edit and delete functions before adding sensitive material.
5. Keep payment and message-deletion steps separate, and retain confirmation receipts.

Related resources

Cancellation and deletion checklist · Moving a fictional persona · Replika privacy research · Secrets custom-character controls

How to interpret an opaque policy statement

If a privacy notice says messages may be processed to improve the service, look for opt-out rules, data categories and any listed processors. If the site advertises “private conversations,” ask whether that describes public visibility, staff access, third-party model processing or encryption; these are different promises. A vendor may be compliant with applicable laws while still not offering the storage and portability controls a particular user expects.

What to record in your privacy comparison